When's Your Dolmio Day?

Well these couple of belters come from local hero, G2Hero (https://twitter.com/#!/g2hero). Thank you sir!

The first photo shows the classic cool of a true wolfcoat. Unfortunately, this wolf wearing munta has not been so cool with her bait selection... Dolmio sauce. Dolmio fucking sauce!? Lazy twat can't even be bothered to...

Heat a couple of glugs of olive oil in a hot pan then finely slice a clove of garlic and fry with a pinch of seasalt until translucent (do not let the garlic burn). Then add a tin of Napolina chopped tomatoes (don't be tempted by the 16p Asda own brand, they are as thin as piss). Next add a small handful of torn basil leaves, a pinch of ground italian pepper and a couple of pinches of oregano, then simmer for around 10 minutes.

Next up...



I have it on good authority that the reason this photo was taken at distance was because this winter wooly warmer wearer was one vicious mutha.

Shortly before this photo was taken, she devoured the previous wolfcoat mutant in Asda car park, along with the Dolmio... This snap captures her checking the doors of disabled Asda shoppers for fig rolls. The heartless cow.

Otter & Tabs

This chump was nil impressed when I asked if I could take a photo of his Autumn Otter Awesomeness. So much so, that he turned his back on me like a discarded chicken parmo on the streets of Teeside on a weeknight.

However, all was not lost as he revealed the true awesomeness of this otter extravaganza! I did not hang about though, as shortly after this photo was taken he pulled a badger from within the lining of his awesome awesome coat and made the poor little critter smoke 40 tabs straight from his sweaty mitt. The bastard!

Dead Sea Mob Double Header!

Well well well. A double header of desireable wolf coats from the Dead Sea Mob...



First off, we have this beautifully arrogant arrangement. If we were playing bullshit bingo, this coat would have it all. Wolves, snow, trees and moon. Fuck me, this is a winner.

On a side note, it would seem that the bystanders to this bint are distracted by the wares available on the stall in front. Well I have it on good authority that concealed from view is an outdoor lap dancing venue for voles and gerbils. The sick bastards!

Next up is this blue Brighton belter!



Once again, the wolfcoat photographer has been cool enough to conceal the wearer’s identity (as mentioned in a previous post, this is a dangerous business – see goat).

Anyway, back to this wolf wearer’s story… It would seem that this wife’s hubby is bemused at the lack of tarragon in the trolley. But little does he know that Tesco Extra doesn’t sell fucking tarragon and that they now have to go all the way to posh fucking Sainsbury’s for their perennial herb…

Cat amongst the... lighting section...

Well, well, well. A beautiful first capture for our newest wolfcoat member...



"when Carole and I were out shopping in Redcar today we came across the attached beauty. It took me ages to catch up to her and I was really shifting around the store. It was only when I managed to corner her that I realised that she was jet propelled using her GT Zimmer frame with wheels. Although her coat looked and smelled like real cat fur she assured me that no cats had been harmed in its manufacture, a point I found difficult to believe."

Fife Fido Fleece!

This photo was sent to me from a cheese pasty eating, wolfcoat.co.uk fan from up the road in Scotland. It is a close-up of a very delicious and popular puppy coat that was captured in the fantastically scaffy area of Fife. To be honest, I'm surprised the photographer was able to get as close as they did without being sick as the folk who normally wear these coats stink of piss...

Hungry like a Wolf

Ok, so here we have a pack of wolves hunting for their midnight snack. Now to the coat... here we have a pack of wolves hunting... Anyway, this terrible twosome caused havoc in Morrisions the other day, showing complete disregard to your wolfcoat writer, these fat trumpeteers bustled their way through the isles filling every available crevise with what can only be described as a dead smell. Bamps!

Goat Coat

Just when you thought they had went into hibernation, this feisty little number pops up. Complete with hood (a first for wolfcoat.co.uk) a mountain goat stands proud beneath her wilderness. Fantastic! Unfortunately, shortly after this photo was taken, her bodyguard swung for me with his bag of broken biscuits. Custard creams, bourbons and those pink wafer things strewn across Park View shopping centre in Whitley Bay. This job gets more dangerous by the day...