It's CHHRRIIIIISSSTMMMAAAAAASSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

After narrowly averting a serious accident with a be-pianoed nun, this festive fleece was spotted in Grainger Market. I was initially blind-sided by this christmas whore as she was heading out of sight, until the thick get stopped to look at some christmas cards!!!

Upon commending her seasonal stylings, she informed me that this was her back-up fleece. Her first choice nativity fleece was at Johnson's dry cleaners having a yuletide log removed, which had been laid across Our Lord Baby Jesus' forehead.

Amen.

Big Bad Wolf Shocker 2

Well touch my giblets and call be Storrint! Surely this isn't the same wolf as the last one??? Well, it's the same type of coat, but a different wife. This bish came out of the Thomas Cook across the road skipping and flapping her coat around like a gypsy who'd just found a gold tooth. When asked if she'd like to be a part of Wolfcoat.co.uk she said that she'd love to, but was already late for the Shakira concert at the Berkely Tavern in Whitley Bay. Her loss...

Big Bad Wolf Shocker

Well I wasn't expecting that. It was on my last post, only an hour ago, that I predicted such an awe-inspiring sighting. This candid snapshot of wolves in their natural habitat was a truly beautiful sight.

The leader of the pack consumes most of the image. I bet he's a right lazy bastard; never taking the bins out, and that. I think this is a disgusting abuse of power, which is prevalent amongst wolf communities. He should be ashamed of himself and all his kind. The little arsehole.

Midnight Caller

Don't be fooled by the apparent lack of detail, no clarity has been lost. This is purely a silhouette design. I think you'll agree that this particular fleece has taken the wolf coat to another level. What will be next? Perhaps a pack of wolves enjoying midnight respite in a snow-laden forest of trees, gauntly stripped to their frost-scarred bark? (That's the trees, not the wolves.)

Thieving Gypsy Hor(se)

This timid little get became startled as I took the snap, then bolted off, galloping through the security barriers of HMV without paying for a Champion The Wonder Horse box set. Neither of the security guards had a hope of catching her, as the going was good-to-firm for the 3:15 at Swalwell.

Le Premier Wolf Coat

My first wolf coat and what a belter! Caught this bitch hanging out in "The Bay" - she thinks she's hard as fuck cos she has the only proper wolfie in the hood. Ticks all the boxes: classic montage effect with baying action to add a bit of drama. It doesn't get any better than this.

Oompa Loompa Woofla

Caught these two oompa loompas stealing Linda McCartney sausages from Holland & Barrett. Chased after them for a bit to get a photo (well I say chased, they were absolutely pegging it as fast as their little stumps could carry them, and I was simply strolling, I nearly overtook them to be honest).